Author: Crash

Email: the.yllek@gmail.com

Status: Complete

Category: angst humor

Pairings: None

Spoiler: None.

Season: 3

Sequel/Series Info: None

Rating: PG

Content Warnings: none I don't think.

File Size (kb):63

Archive: Jackfic, Incoming Wormhole, Heliopolis

Summary: Jack ends up in a hole in more ways then one.

Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Authorıs Note: If I fail my history final tomorrow this is why. I stayed up Saturday night after watching Sliding Doors up the hall and started this little Diddy. DJ was up too. Thanx for staying up ;) And for the correx as it went. And thanx to Tadooh for the final beta!

Oh hole-y night......whose idea was it to schedule a mission during the holidays?! Whoever it is the next time I see them I will inflict great bodily harm upon their person.

I could be at home in MY house sitting in MY chair drinking MY beer and staring at the fire in MY fire place.

But no, what am I doing?

I'm sitting in a water filled hole on some god forsaken planet on some mission that someone decided was extremely important. Why am I sitting in a water filled hole you ask? After all it's not the usual place you find a United States Air Force Colonel.

Well it all started out on a nice simple mission to this planet, whose name escapes me at the moment, which is actually at about the same level as us technology wise. It was going fine and dandy. Daniel was jabbering away with a historian from their "University". Carter was going on with some type of engineer. Teal'c and I were meeting with their leader, Nachum. We all got along just swell.

The fourth day Daniel and historian friend from the first day were going too look at some temple not far from the "city." Carter and Teal'c were meeting with an engineer at the University. I decided to tag along with Daniel. At least this way I'd get to see some of this wonderful country side.

Everything was fine until I was walking back to the "city" to meet up with Carter and Teal'c. Having observed the natives for the last day I had no qualms over leaving a team member alone. I regret my decision now seeing the predicament I find my self in.

Some where between the temple and the city I must have gotten turned around or something, because one moment I'm walking along a trail and the next I'm falling followed by a sickening crunch and blackness.

An irregular pattern of ice cold rain drops hitting my face brought me around. I was lying in a crumpled heap in the bottom of a hole. And that's where I am now. Only the rain has stopped and the sky has cleared giving a breath taking view of the sky.

I have no idea how long I've been here. But considering it's night time now and it was around noon when I headed back it's been awhile. I'm pretty sure I've broken my leg again and probably have a concussion as well. I'm tired, hurt, cold and wet and want to get out of this hole.

I bet your wondering "well how come the fool hasn't radioed and said he fell in a hole?" Well I would have but seeing as my radio is in tiny bits floating in the water that fills my home for the time being I donıt think it will work. I just have to believe that my team will find me and I know they will they always do.

Did I mention hungry? I'm absolutely starving. And yes I'd like some cheese with my whine. Provolone if you have any.

I think I'll just take a little nap. I'm so tired and cold that I'm shaking.

Whoops! No napping. Gotta stay awake. No sleeping with concussion. Hmmmm do something to stay awake. Must not sleep.

Where is my team? They didn't leave me did they? No, they wouldn't do that. Never leave anyone behind. That's the rule they know it.

I'm cold. And sleepy, very sleepy. And hungry. The service here sucks. I asked for cheese. I donıt see any cheese. The heating isn't working very well either. The entertainment is a drag. Iım never recommending this place to anyone.

Looks like I'm not going to see Kayla and Tessa's Christmas program. Tessa was gonna sing a solo too. Oh Holy Night. No pun intended.

"Oh holy night! The stars are brightly shining."

Well it is a hole'y night and the stars are brightly shining.

Uh oh bad sign. Am laughing at own jokes.

"Joy to the world the Goa'uld's dead we barbequed their heads!"

Uh oh bad... 'nother bad sign. Am singing horribly rewritten Christmas songs to myself. Ooooooooooo now how's the rest of it go?

"Don't worry about the body we flushed it down the potty. Around and 'round it went around and 'round it went"

Yup that's it.

Whoops. No dozing. Already had this discussion. No sleeping. Sleeping is bad.

Wonder when they will get here? Surely they missed me by now. I hope they hurry. I'm going to have a bad case of trench foot after this.

Uh oh bad sign. Not shivering any more. Very bad sign. Hope Doc comes too. The clouds are back no more pretty view of the stars. And it's dark in here too without the moon and starlight. Wonder if flash light works.

Yey! Flash light works. Duh! Why didnıt you think of it sooner? Point flashlight up. Team see light. Team come and get Jack and take Jack to see Napoleonic Power Monger.

Okay now just stay awake Jack. You can do it. Just like on watch. Catın kill you if he catch you asleep on watch. Sing.

Oh holy night!

The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

***

"Hey Sam do you hear that?" Daniel asked coming to a stop. They had been searching for Jack since they discovered that he had not made it back from the temple to the city. Over twelve hours and they had not found the seemingly elusive Colonel.

"Some one is signing?" Sam asked unbelievably

"Sounds like O'Neill." Teal'c answered pointing to their left. "It appears to be emanating from that direction."

"We checked that area though," Daniel countered.

"Perhaps we have overlooked something."

Daniel shrugged and followed Teal'c lead. He wanted to find his friend and was worried about just wasting time on what sounded like a horrible rendition of "Oh Holy Night."

As they got closer the singing increased in volume confirming the guess that it was indeed Colonel O'Neill's off key voice.

"Look!" Sam pointed to the beam of light that appeared to shoot out of the ground.

Cautiously they approached the area where the light originated from unsure of exactly what to find.

"Jack?" Daniel called when the hole came into view.

***

"Daniel?" I answered back. At least I think it was him. It sounded like him. But then what do I know? I've been singing to myself for God knows how long.

"It's me, Jack."

"Good. Get me outta this hole!" Hurry too. I don't think I stay awake much longer.

"Hey, Colonel." Oh Carter's with him too. "How are you doin', sir?"

"Fine, Carter." Nope not fine Jack ol'boy. Broken leg, concussion, wet, cold, hungry, tired. Nope not fine.

Uh oh. I don't think I'm gonna make it this time. Oooo that made head hurt. Note to self. Head bobbing hurts. Especially when have heavy metal band playing in head.

"Jack! Damnit Jack, answer me!"

Ooooooooooo Daniel's mad. He's hollerin' at me. Ooops must have fell asleep.

Sorry Daniel. I'm cold so very cold. And the blackness is coming back. Sorry guys.

Whoa movement! I'm roused from my state of unconsciousness by the jerking motions of being pulled up right. Opening my eyes I see a bleary figure in front of me.

"Hey, sir." Oh it's Carter. She's the only one that calls me sir.

"Car'er, you having a Hole'y night too?"

"Yes, sir" She giggles. Why she always giggles? "Don't worry, sir. Almost out of here. I had to come down and fit the rope."

"Out of hole? To Po'er onger?" Damn I was just getting comfortable.

"Yes sir. Janet is waiting."

***

"Oh Holy Night. The stars are brightly shining"

Hey what's that beeping noise? It's messing up the song. It's all off beat.

Oh wait I know that noise. It means I'm in the infirmary again. Oh Lord, what did I do this time? Will figure it out later. Am sleepy. I think I will take a nap.

Oh yeah. Hole'y night. Guess they must have found me. I knew they wouldn't leave me.

Oh but that means Napoleonic Power Monger is here. Uh oh. She not gonna be happy. Kayla, Tessa not be happy either. Missed Christmas show.

Just keep digging your hole deeper Jack. Hope George went. Maybe George tape it.

"Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright."

That's a lie. It's not silent. Can't sleep with all the ruckus going on. Not holey night no more. Although I dug self a rather deep hole between Doc, Kayla, and Tessa. Nope not calm. Never calm in infirmary. But yup. It's bright.

What is it with Docs and bright lights? They have a bright light fetish or something?

"Oh hey Doc." Plaster best innocent look up on face. Nope was not saying anything bad about you. Nope sure wasn't.

Uh oh Doc not buying it. Doc looks pissed. What happened to her bed side manner?

Must remember to shoot who ever scheduled that mission.

"Colonel..." Here comes the speech. Here comes George too.

Can I have my hole back?