by crash

The gate shut down with a snap leaving the area very dark. Luckily Ashby was able to get a look at the address punched into the DHD before it reset. The address looked familiar but before he could talk to Major Carter about the gate began to activate again, this time someone was dialing in. The three of them took up defensive positions and were relieved when the sound of General Hammonds voice crackled over their radios.

"Sir, did you just say that you think Colonel O'Neill took Sauber's place?" Sam asked slightly interrupting the conversation between General Hammond and Colonel Williams.

"Yes, Major. We've been through the security camera footage and it looks as though Colonel O'Neill slipped out the infirmary during the confusion earlier and took Captain Sauber's place."

"Whoever just left went to the Land of Light," Kuhl piped up examining the ground around the base of the DHD, while Meinhold checked out the two downed guards. "He was barefoot as well."

"Colonel O'Neill more than likely just left here, sir. Sergeant Ashby said that the address that he was able to catch before the DHD cleared was for the Land of Light."

"Alright Major, I'll send a team to check it out and will check back in to give you an update."

~*~

Jack had zoned, pushing everything aside and concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. He knew he was slowing down; it was getting increasingly more difficult to pick up each foot and place it in front of the other. And he couldn't see. Even after letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, he still frequently bumped into trees and vines and tripped over roots and debris that littered the forest's floor. But each time he was sent painfully to his knees he got up again and trudged on, hoping that there were no more of the Touched left on the dark side of the planet.

Jack's foot snagged painfully on a protruding root and sent him to his knees. He put his hands out to try and catch himself and keep his face off the ground but found himself falling instead. He landed in the bottom of a pit, crying out when his right knee impacted the hard packed ground first and collapsed, causing him to pitch forward and strike his head on a rock. He lay there in an awkward heap as the rain began to fall.

~~~~~

Teal'c stuck his arm out allowing Dr. Fraiser to regain her balance as she exited the wormhole. The night vision goggles made the usual slightly disorienting trip worse; especially if you weren't used to traveling through them to begin with. Nodding his head in reply to Janet's silent thanks Teal'c turned to his other side checking to see that Sydnea had also arrived safely.

"Can you track him Teal'c?" Major Griff questioned upon his arrival as he did a quick head count. Daniel was the last to arrive, the wormhole snapping shut behind him.

"Yes, I can. The rain may make it difficult but I am confident I can track O'Neill." Teal'c knelt down at the base of the gate, running his fingers over the ground. Standing up he indicated the direction that O'Neill had gone.

"All right people, let's move out. Teal'c, you take pointŠ Daniel, after him. Doc and Irvine, you're next. I'll bring up the rear," Griff spoke as he checked the area once again.

Teal'c could tell by the tracks left behind that O'Neill was not at his best. Broken branches and frequent ground disturbance from falling made it easy to track him. As the team moved out they started calling.

"Colonel O'Neill!"

"Jack?"

"O'Neill!"

"Colonel!"

Their cries echoed hauntingly in the dark woods.

~~~~~

He woke up sputtering; coughing painfully in attempt to oust the water he'd inhaled. Without moving Jack looked around trying to figure out where he was, but couldn't see anything. It was pitch black and Jack hoped it was just from lack of light and not him being blind.

Unable to see, he relied on his other senses. He knew it was raining he could feel it and hear it striking the water in the puddle he was apparently laying in. Cold and soaked to the bone Jack cautiously stuck a shaking hand out to try and get a feel for his surroundings. Finding a wall behind him and nothing but water in front of him Jack moved to sit up gasping as pain radiated through out his body.

The change in position had left Jack feeling light headed and nauseous, not mention awaking every ache and pain in his body. Aches and pains that he didn't remember getting. And what the hell was going on? The last thing he remembered was being shoved into a bamboo hut on Planet Burma for trespassing. So now where the hell was he? Did they see fit to move him into a big hole with water in the bottom after beating the crap out of him?

Leaning back against the dirt wall he tipped his head back closing his eyes and sucking in deep gulps of air as he tried to will the pain away.

~~~~~

"JACK!" Daniel yelled once again smacking into Teal'c who had stopped without warning.

They had been following Jack's tracks for two hours and Daniel's voice was becoming horse from the near constant use.

"Come no further," Teal'c commanded, putting his arms out to either side to stop the others from advancing.

"What is it, Teal'c?" Major Griff asked stepping forward to the front.

"There is a large hole in the ground. O'Neill's tracks also end here."

"Did he fall in?" Janet came up next to Teal'c Sydnea on her heels. Both women peered carefully over the brim, unable to make anything out.

"I cannot tell from the tracks." Teal'c answered then laid down flat on his belly and inched forward until he was on the edge. Gingerly, Teal'c poked his head over the edge, scrutinizing every square inch of the bottom he could see.

"I believe I have found O'Neill."

~~~~~

"Colonel!"

Jack jerked, his head snapping forward, startled by the voice calling his name. It was definitely female, but he didn't recognize it as Carter's.

"Colonel? Damn it, wake UP!"

Shit! It was Doc. Doc was making a house call? He must be really bad off it that was happening. But he didn't feel too bad... course he couldn't feel anything.

"C'mon Colonel, we know you're awake. Answer us!"

Holy crap that was SydneaŠhe could recognize the pissed off tone anywhere. He'd woken up to it enough times in the infirmaryŠ

But he wasn't in the infirmary. He was offworld. In a hole, soaked, hurting and cold. And Sydnea never came offworld. She held down the fort when Doc wasn't there... Why the hell was she here?

Man did his head hurt. How come it couldn't be numb like the rest of his body?

"Jack, open your eyes!"

Jack reeled backward, gasping as his head contacted painfully with the wall behind him. Daniel was here too? His eyes weren't closed; it was just dark. And wet. And cold. Don't forget the cold. Maybe he was just having some weird dream. Yeah, that was it. It was just a delusion. He was just alone in a hole filling with rainwaterŠ

"Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink," Jack said to himself.

"What was that, Colonel?"

"Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink," he repeated without thinking, silently irritated that the person hadn't understood him the first time.

"Yes sir, there's a lot of water and no, it wouldn't be a very good idea to drink it."

He heard Daniel snigger.

Jack paused in mid breath. Someone had answered him twice. There were other people in the hole? He wasn't alone. He hadn't seen anyone though. He brought a numb hand up to rub at his face and ended up smacking himself in the eye. Thankfully his eyes were shut.

He thought his eyes were open and that it was just very dark. So that's what Daniel was talking about earlier.

Jack opened his eyes and slammed them back shut as the howitzers that had been firing in his head sped up.

"Damn it; get the light out of his face." He heard Sydnea complain to someone.

"It's gone now, Colonel. How about you open your eyes again?"

Jack contemplated trying again. The howitzers were still volleying and he was tired. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. But Sydnea and Doc kept nagging him. It wasn't fair when they tag teamed him.

Knowing that it would make them happy Jack tried again. Just a slit at first unsure of how bright it would be. Taking a quick glance around him his eyes shot open when he saw that Doc, Sydnea and Daniel were indeed there‹right in front of him. This had to be one of the most interesting hallucinations he'd ever had. Maybe the heat from Planet Burma was getting to him.

But it wasn't hot. It was cold and soggy. So it couldn't have been Planet Burma.

Jack's eyes drifted shut. He heard voices demanding that he open them again. He hoped they understood. It wasn't anything personal. He was just tired. And it was bright with his eyes open and that made the howitzer people upset.

~~~~~

It had taken a while but they had finally managed to get Jack out of the hole. Teal'c and Griff having to rig a pulley system while Janet and Sydnea with help from Daniel worked on the colonel. The rain that was falling made things even more difficult. They needed to get the colonel out of the standing water in the bottom of the hole but it was hard to get sure footing for them to pull him out.

Once out Sydnea and Janet went to work once again, cutting off the colonel's wet clothes, replacing them with blankets, dressing the wounds on his feet and hands and immobilizing his grotesquely swollen knee. The colonel hadn't woken up since he had fallen asleep earlier not even giving the slightest response to what was being done to him.

The rain ending and Jack remaining stable made the journey back to the gate relatively easy. he'd made the entire trip without stirring. Arriving back on Earth they were greeted in the Gateroom by a medical team and Jack was quickly rushed up to the infirmary ­ leaving Daniel Teal'c and Griff to debrief General Hammond.

~~~~~

Jack lay back in his darkened room tying to wind down enough to allow his body to relax so that he could get some sleep. He hadn't had much rest since he had woken up the week before. He'd close his eyes but wouldn't get more then an hour, two if he was lucky, before he would wake up screaming. Doc had offered to give him something to take the edge off but he steadfastly refused. He'd been through this before. It would go away on its own.

Closing his eyes Jack used some of the techniques that Teal'c had taught him when they had swapped bodies during that whole mess with Machello. He could feel it working. The tension and pain vacating as his muscles relaxed. His headache also began to recede for the first time in days. While the pain in his knees and feet came and went the headache had been his constant companion since Doc had cut back on the pain meds.

He was almost asleep when he heard the door open. He hoped it was Sydnea. He couldn't stand anyone to be near him lately but at least she came and got her stuff done without bothering him too much. Cracking an eye open he cringed.

In the dim lighting he recognized the nurse as Second Lieutenant Margaret Flemming. She was new the SGC only having been there a few weeks if he remembered right. She was one of those perpetually happy people that got on his nerves. He had made sure to avoid her when he had reported for his last pre-mission physical.

"Good morning Colonel O'Neill" Flemming called cheerily turning on the over head light.

The sudden bright light sent spikes thought Jack's head; eyes slamming shut at the sudden intrusion. His head ache returned with reinforcements and he could feel tears leaking from beneath his closed lids. Even with his eyes closed the bright light bothered him.

ŒGod what the hell was she thinking' Jack said to himself bring his hands up to cover his face. Groaning when he felt his stomach starting to churn he tried to curl up on his side but pain went shooting from his knee through his groin and belly.

Jack felt a hand touch his shoulder followed by a soft voice "Colonel O'Neill are you alright?"

"Does it look like I'm alright?" Jack snapped, "Just turn it off please"

"Turn what off sir?"

"The light damnit! The light! What else is there to turn off." Jack's headache inched up another notch. "The room was dark for a reason you dimwit can't you read directions."

Jack groaned again his stomach churned more he tried to curl onto his side again completely forgetting about his knee until more pain fired its way along his nerves causing him to gasp.

"Sir here let meŠ" Flemming moved forward when she saw Jack move to sit up.

"God! Can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE?" Jack swept his arm across the tray that was over the bed sending its contents clattering sharply to the floor.

Cradling his still upset stomach, Jack stayed hunched over panting in effort to pull enough oxygen into his lungs. In the end he lost the battle and vomited.

"Just a minute Colonel and we'll get you cleaned up." Jack saw Flemming come closer a wet washcloth from the small attached bathroom. She had pity in her eyes and that was one thing he couldn't stand.

"No I'm fine, I canŠ" Jack started protested but was interrupted.

"Come on now Colonel. You'll feel better after getting cleaned up and some fresh blankets."

"I said NO!" Jack jerked away from the hand she put on his arm "JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Jack bellowed, satisfied to see her scuttle out the room the door banging shut behind her.

Jack flung himself backwards against the bed. He had tried to get up but the pain in his leg forced him to abort. His head was really pounding now and his knee felt like it was going to explode.

~~~~~

"Jack what's going on? I just saw Nurse Flemming tear out of here?" Daniel asked walking into the room Teal'c right behind him. They were just out in the hall when Daniel was almost bowled over by the fleeing lieutenant.

"Oh nothing Daniel just that mousy nurse came in here flipping on lights making my headache that had finally gone away, come stampeding back. Then, she tried to treat me like I was eight years old!" Jack ground out in frustration. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Okay Jack, just calm down. I'll turn the lights back down for you." Daniel exchanged looks with Teal'c as he reached for the dimmer switch by the door.

"O'Neill you do not look rested. Has DoctorFraiser been unable to help you?" Teal'c moved forward, ready to assist when he saw Jack start to move around to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Of course I'm not rested! How can anyone get any rest here? Someone is always going in and out poking and prodding. Can one have no privacy even for a few minutes?" Jack had managed to get himself situated on the edge of the bed stopping just short of resting his bandaged feet on the floor.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Daniel's concerned voice cut through the rushing sounds in Jack's ears.

"Need to get cleaned up. Got sick" Jack squeezed closed his eyes, the nausea returning with a vengeance.

"Well why don't you just wait there I'll fetch a washcloth and towel for you from the bathroom." Daniel kneeled in front of Jack resting a hand on his arm. Out of the corner of his eye Daniel could see Teal'c already moving to the small bathroom for the washcloth and towel.

"No!" Jack pushed Daniel away causing the archeologist to fall backwards. "I can do it by myself!"

"How Jack? You can't even walk yet." Daniel yelled back irritated by his friend's stubborn refusal to accept help.

"O'Neill, if you proceed you will only serve to injure yourself further and anger DoctorFraiser." Teal'c walked over to where Jack was seated on the edge of the bed, hand gripping the side rail swaying slightly.

"I will leave this here, you may clean yourself up and we will return later." Turning around Teal'c extended a hand to Daniel, pulling the younger man to his feet.

Daniel followed Teal'c pausing at the doorway. Looking back he saw that Jack hadn't moved.

"You know Jack, just because you accept help doesn't mean that you are weak; it means that you are wise enough to know that you have limits."

~~~~~

General Hammond shifted trying to find a comfortable positioning the torture contraption that the infirmary called a chair. He had no idea how Jack could stand to sit in one of these for so long while standing vigil over his team. He was definitely going to have to look into that request for some new furniture in here.

He looked over at the figure on the bed, sighed and recalled his earlier conversation with Dr. Fraiser.

"Physically, Colonel O'Neill is doing okay. His injuries are healing and the chest infection has cleared up just fine. But he's not eating, not sleeping and when he does sleep it's not for very long before he's screaming himself awake. The colonel's been ignoring his team and he won't talk unless he has to then he snaps at everyone." Janet paused to take a deep breath. "Sir this is way beyond his usual cantankerous behavior. Just a short while ago he made one of my nurses cry! Nurses Irvine and Lutz are the only ones who are willing to deal with the colonel."

His musings were interrupted by a moan coming from Jack. Not sure what to do the general sat back and waited to see what happened. Restless movements were followed by more pain filled moans and just as Dr. Fraiser had said he screamed himself awake, eyes flying wide open and sweat beading on his forehead.

"Jack" Hammond spoke softly not wanting to startle the man.

"General" Jack replied a few minutes later once his breathing came back under control. Hammond could see his hands shake as he reached for the pitcher of water and cup on the side table.

"What's going on Jack?" The general cut right to the chase, "Dr. Fraiser says you've been causing problems with the nurses."

"Nothing's going on Sir. Everything is fine." Jack answered turning away from the general blocking him out as he had done his team.

"And I'm Nolan Ryan! Bullshit!" Hammond countered gruffly. "You're not fine Jack and you know it!"

Hammond waited for a reaction fro the colonel but got nothing. Jack continued to stare at the wall in the opposite direction.

"I know that you don't want to hear this, but you need to talk to someone. You are one of the strongest people I know Jack, but sometimes even the strongest of us needs to talk. It doesn't have to be Mackenzie, but you need to talk to someone Jack. Your team, Dr. Fraiser, my door is always open you know that. You are surrounded by people who care and are more then willing to listen; we just got you back and we don't want to loose you again."

~~~~~

"Aw Doc do you really have to do this?" Jack pleaded desperately, watching her draw liquid into the syringe.

"Yes, Colonel I do. You haven't slept more then a few hours each night this week and you are exhausted, you need to rest." Janet glared at her patient "It's very mild Colonel, just enough to get you relaxed"

"But DocŠ" Jack tried to protest but the sedative was already taking effect.

"Good Night Colonel"

~~~~~

Jack turned into the airfield's parking lot and threw the jeep into park. Hopping out, he quickly made his way into the hanger. It had been a long time since he had gone flying and today was the day he and Chris were going to take the Jenny, a biplane from World War I, they had been working on for a test flight. Jack was excited beyond belief.

"Hand me that wrench will ya?" Chris called out seeing Jack walking across the hanger.

"What, no, ŒHello Jack! How has your week been? Make any cadets cry?'" Jack joked good naturedly handing the wrench up to Chris.

"Mr.' Get Down to Business' is interested in small talk? Wonders may never cease." Chris wiped his hands on his thighs in an unsuccessful attempt to rid himself of the engine grease.

"So, are we going to fly or what?" Jack ignored the other mans comment as he walked around the plane.

"After I get cleaned up and you talk." Chris explained grabbing a hand full of Goop and leaning up against the sink basin near the hanger entrance. "SoŠHow was your week?"

"Good. Good," Jack picked through the open tool box. Picking up a tool he'd examine it carefully before replacing it and selecting another one. "No flashbacks. And you were right, the nightmares do fade."

In general, Jack hated shrinks they made him nervous with their never-ending questions and pressure for him to talk about what happened. He had been forced to see several different shrinks since his return from Iraq and he hated them all, except Chris. He made Jack feel as if he was just talking to a friend, never pressuring him for anything. Chris was different because he had been there. He'd been a POW. He knew what it was like to have your dignity and humanity stripped from you. Chris understood that sometimes you just could talk about it. Jack was grateful when Chris was able to take over his mandatory appointments.

"Hey what are you standing around for?" Chris hollered "You want to go flying so bad get over here and help me open the door!"

Jack grinned and trotted over to help Chris push the metal sliding doors open.

~~~~~

Jack cracked an eye open and looked around his room trying to find out what made the scraping noise that woke him up. It aggravated him that even sedated he couldn't get a decent amount of rest.

Sydnea's hushed voice broke the dark silence "Sorry Colonel I didn't mean to wake you." She patted his shoulder lightly. "Go back to sleep."

Jack nodded tiredly closing his eyes again, then the sudden significance of his dream flashed into his over stressed brain. Chris. If there was one person that would understand what he was going through and be able to help, it was Chris. And he was right here in Colorado Springs ­ now a respected professor of psychology at the Academy.

Jack managed a final request before he drifted back to sleep.

"Sydnea"

"Yes sir?"

"Can you do me a favor?' he asked eyes remaining closed. " Will you find Christain Jeppeson?"

"I'll see what I can do. Now, go back to sleep before Doc rips me a new one for keeping you up." She commanded lightly, tucking the blankets in around him.

~~~~~

Jack stretched, straightening out limbs and body parts ever cautious of his injured knee. God he'd been asleep way too long if the stiffness in his body was anything to go by. Doc must have slipped him something. On the other hand his headache while not gone completely was certainly much better then it had been.

"Well it's nice to see you haven't fallen sloppy dead"

Jacks' eyes opened wide at the familiar voice. Blinking against the tears from the light, Jack turned to face the owner of the voice. Christian Jeppeson.

"What is it with you and your Jefferson Airship Starplane Starship addiction?" Jack grumbled squinting against the light.

"What are you complaining about? It could be Hot Tuna" Chris grinned "And besides I have to have something to offset your Wizard of Oz Œaddiction'"

"You know Chris... it's a little early, I haven't even had my Jell-O yet... Remember what the dormouse said... feed your head? Well I haven't fed mine yet"

"Well I'm under orders from your Doc Fraiser, feisty person she is, to get you outta bed and feed your head."

"You're doing this just to irritate me aren't you?"

"I would never do that." Chris feigned innocence.

"Come on now," he held out a hand to Jack, "You've been asleep for twenty hours, and that's more than enough for a lazy bastard like you." He grinned "I don't want your Doc Fraiser to be pissed at me for not doing as I'm told."

He grinned, gratefully accepting Chris's help.

~~~~~

"Doesn't it bother you guys that the Colonel won't talk to you, but is more then willing to talk to some shrink?" Sam nodded toward the colonel and Chris who were seated in the far corner of then empty mess hall.

"No not really." Daniel took a bite of his open-faced roast beef washing it down with a drink of water. "Chris seems to be really nice the few times I've run into him."

"Indeed." Teal'c agreed. "O'Neill has taken great strides in his recovery since ChrisJeppeson has been here."

Sam looked at Daniel surprised. She had returned after several days at the Alpha Site, and when she had stopped by to see the Colonel she was told that a Dr. Jeppeson had given an order for him not to be disturbed. Sam recognized the name and it didn't take long for her to find out he was a psychology instructor at the Air Force Academy.

"Okay I admit it. I was bothered at first but, look at it this way Sam." Daniel pointed his fork across the table at Sam. "He's talking to someone. How long have we been trying to get him to? And if it helps get the old Jack back then I'm all for it."

"But how come he couldn't have talked to us?" Sam countered stabbing at her blue Jell-o.

"O'Neill does not like to burden us with his troubles." Teal'c, supplied, "Especially those of his time before the SGC."

"But we're a family."

"Family is not always the best answer." Teal'c neatly folded his napkin and placed it on the try next to his plate. "And some things from the past can be best dealt with when we are with those from the past."

They finished their meal in silence, keeping an eye on their commander in the corner.

"Hey Carter you're back!" Sam jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder. Looking up she saw her commanding officer leaning on a pair of crutches, Chris standing to his left.

"Colonel! It's good to see you sir."

"Same here Carter. How was the Alpha Site?"

"Got it back up and running. Tornado thankfully didn't do too much serious damage. We expect them to be back and running by the end of next week."

"Great news." Jack smiled looking to his left he remembered that Chris and Carter hadn't been introduced. "I don't believe you two have met. Carter this is Christian Jeppeson friend of mine form way back. Chris this is Major Sam Carter."

"Nice to meet you" Chris said sticking out his hand.

"Same here" Carter shook Chris's hand before turning back to the colonel "Janet let you out?"

"No only out for lunch." Jack pouted. "I get out on Friday."

"It's only two more days Jack surely you can survive that?"

"I do not believe its a question of whether or not O'Neill will survive rather will DoctorFraiser survive." Teal'c intoned, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.

"So true Teal'c" Daniel laughed openly while Sam tried to hide hers behind her

hand.

Jack gave them a menacing look "Anyways, you guys wanna come over this weekend? You know watch a movie or two eat pizza that sorta thing?"

"Sounds good" Carter managed to get out, trying to regain her composure, failing.

"What time would you like us there O'Neill?"

"Say about 1900? That work for you T?"

"Indeed" Teal'c nodded his head. "I will accompany MajorCarter when she leaves. If that is satisfactory."

"That's fine Teal'c. We can swing by Blockbuster and grab some movies."

"Just not Star War?s" Daniel asked causing them all to laugh.

"Speaking of time, yours is up in six minutes." Chris butted in.

"I can tell time you know. Unlike that white rabbit of yours."

"Whatever. Get a move on it gimpy" Chris gave Jack a light shove.

"Okay, okay I'm going. You're as pushy as Doc is. I'll see you all later." Jack threw his team a Œplease save me look' as he headed for the exit.

"Maybe you're right Teal'c." Sam looked over her shoulder at the two retreating figures. "The past maybe just what the colonel needs."

~finis