AUTHOR: Debi C

FEEDBACK: Onlist or to dcole6@satx.rr.com

AUTHOR WEBSITE: http://www.incomingwormhole.com/debic/index.html

RATING: PG13

PAIRING: Daniel/Sam

CATAGORY: Het, Alternate Universe, Romance, Humor, First Time

DATE: 25 January 2002

STATUS: Series In Progress, All Stories complete within themselves.

SERIES TITLE: The Drunken Colonel Saga.

SEASON/SPOILERS: Season 5. Stargate, Children Of The Gods, Tokıra, Divide and Conquer, Between Two Fires, and probably more whose name I canıt remember.

ARCHIVE: Alpha Gate. . Anyone else please ask.

SYNOPSIS: Finally the team goes on a mission, because we really need to get off planet and quit talking about babies.

NOTES: This is a continuation of the story begun in ŒWhat Do We Do With A Drunken Colonelı and is a work in progress to see what happens. Cause I donıt know yet. Read at your own risk...I make no promises.

WARNINGS: This takes place as an Alternate Universe. The series is not finished yet. I do not know where it will go or who it will talk to along the way. Like the energizer plot bunnie, It keeps on going and going.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/ Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I do not own the characters and indeed am only playing with them for a little while. I am not making any money from this and I'm still paying for everything I own so there's very little point in suing me. No copyright infringement whatso- ever is intended. The story is for entertainment purposes only. At least I hope it's entertaining. The original characters, situations and story are mine. Please check with me first if you want to archive or link to this story.

Chap 1 The Mission, should you choose to accept it...

Sam Carter tapped on the door leading into Dr. Daniel Jackson's office. He looked up briefly from his paperwork. He was still trying to translate the new and different script that SG2 had brought back from their latest mission. It was a combination of about three different languages plus something else. He was beginning to get annoyed with the artifact, Ferretti (who had brought it back) and himself, not necessarily in that order. "Hi Sam. What's up?"

Thus invited, the young woman meandered in and pulled up a stool across from where Daniel was working. "Problems?"

"Yea," He answered absently. "I'm getting several Middle Eastern dialects in addition to an unknown one." Daniel looked up at her curiously. "How did you know?"

"Your expression, your hair is ruffled, you're muttering to yourself, you've drunk all the coffee and it's only 0930 hrs." She grinned at him. "Any other questions?"

He laid the pencil down. "Uh, no, actually. You've summed it up rather succinctly." Jackson slid off his perch and went over to the Mr. Coffee that was ensconced on the sideboard surrounded with various paraphernalia used for the creation of coffee. The archeologist rummaged through the objects and found a sealed container. He opened it, added the proper dose to the machine and poured a bottle of spring water into the top. All ready on, it began to brew immediately and the rich odor of the beverage began to fill the air. Daniel then turned back to Sam. "Now that you've saved the day for me...what can I do for you?"

She dismounted the stool and came over to stand beside him. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that...ah, well the three months are up today."

He looked at her in confusion. "Three months?"

Sam returned his gaze, debating. She could pretend to be 'hurt' by his incomprehension or she could just tell him and know that Daniel's mind worked in mysterious ways and he was just on a different wavelength today. She picked the latter as it had been a while. "THE three months...you know, what Janet had said when we talked three months ago?" He continued to look at her blankly. "Daniel, I've been off the pill for three months today."

"Pill?" Then comprehension dawned. "Oh, the pill. THE pill. I got it. I'm sorry." He blushed pinkly. "Honest, Sam. My mind was somewhere else. Forgive me."

She shook her head and smiled at him. "I know three different dialects and something unknown."

Daniel poured them each a cup of coffee, doctored her's with creamer and handed it to Sam.

"So...?"

"So?"

"So, have we made a decision?"

"You'd forgotten. No decision there." She looked at him curiously. "Actually, there's none required. If you don't want to do this..."

Daniel ran a hand through his hair again, tousling it even further. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know." She replied honestly. "I think that, since we had a grace period, that I had probably put the whole thing on the back burner while I worked on my last project."

He nodded. "I know what you mean. It's not that I don't want to, I just have been putting off thinking about it." Daniel looked up at her. "It's such a large step."

She smiled back. "You can say that again. I just keep thinking how everything will change for you and me."

Daniel watched her. "You more than me. You'll be more restricted...very much so while you're...ah..."

She had to laugh at his expression and lack of words. "Pregnant, Daniel. The word is pregnant, fat, gravid, knocked up, an olive on a toothpick, one in the oven, eating for two..."

He looked at her with a grin, pretending to put his hands over his ears. "Stop channeling Jack for pity's sake. Arrggh!"

A quick knock of 'shave and a haircut' tapped on the office door. "Hey," Jack O'Neill ambled in. "Whatchadoin?"

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." Jackson said and Carter giggled.

"Nice, Daniel. Way to make me feel wanted." Jack wandered over to the coffee maker and helped himself to a coffee mug with a picture of a cartoon fish and the legend, 'Fishing (v) a jerk on one end of the line waiting for a jerk on the other end' and poured himself some of the fresh brewed coffee. Teal'c had given it too him after their fishing trip vacation. Daniel caught another stool away from the wall and drug it up to the workbench for him to sit on. After Jack had filled the cup, he joined them at the workbench. "So why were you talking about me?"

"It was Sam, she was doing an...Ouch." He leaned over and rubbed his shin, glaring comically at her.

"Carter? You weren't making fun of your supervisor, were you?"

"Sir, I would never do that..."

"At least not while he was in the room." Daniel muttered into his cup as he ostensibly took a sip of coffee.

"Well, if you're talking about me," Jack gazed about innocently. "You were probably talking about the upcoming mission."

"Of course, Sir." Sam nodded excessively. "Absolutely."

"Up coming mission?" Daniel pushed his glasses back up his nose and looked interested. "We have a new mission assignment?"

"Well, actually it's an old mission assignment." Jack nodded agreeably not at all fooled by their innocent act. "Remember that little planet with the three pyramids all in a row we went to last year. You know, the one with the Egyptian one, the Aztec step-thingy and the summer cigarette."

Daniel and Sam both looked at him in confusion. "No, Sir." She finally answered.

"Oh, come on. Of course you do. The one where Daniel broke his glasses and you had to film the interior stuff and he still couldn't figure it out."

"Yes! Ah, you mean we're going back?" Daniel couldn't believe that the opportunity had presented itself a second time after his last fiasco there.

"Yep, Hammond said that some of those samples that Carter picked up had some kind of mineral deposit that the boys in the lab went gaga over." He had to smile at Daniel's excitement. "So I said since it was kinda quiet around here that SG1 would like to go back and pick up rocks and let Daniel play in the pyramids. The General agreed."

"That's great Jack! When do we leave?"

"Well today's Tuesday, we'll pre-brief and load up tomorrow...so, we'll go Thursday, spend a couple of days gathering more samples and letting you explore pyramids then get back say, Saturday. If we find a good reason to stay, we can get an extension for a few more days."

"Great, Jack!" Daniel enthused. "I didn't think I ever get to go back."

"Well, now that I've brought a little sunshine into your lives...." Jack got up to leave, then stopped and eyed the two of them suspiciously. "Is there something you're not telling me? Cause if we need to..."

Carter immediately spoke up. "No, Sir. Nothing to discuss at this time."

Jack chewed on his lower lip and nodded. As he headed for the door he waived at them over his shoulder and said as he left. "Okay. Well, see you kids later."

"Uh, Sam. This is okay with you...I mean?"

"What? We're getting to repeat a valuable mission that we had problems with last time. Why would I mind? And besides," She got up from the stool and smiled at him. "We'd both sort of forgotten our uh, subject of discussion. No worries, no hurries. Right?"

"If you say so." He got up and came around the table over to Sam. "I mean, it's not that..." He grimaced and shook his head. "The time just got away from me."

She chuckled. "I know. The only reason I knew about it was, well, I found my empty prescription box and saw the date."

"Okay." He acquiesced. "Look, after this mission, let's get together and figure this out." Daniel shook his head. "I need to tell you something anyway and I don't want to just say it and not talk it out."

"Oh, that makes me feel eversomuch better, Daniel Alexander Jackson." She pouted jokingly.

He rolled his eyes at the extended name. "If I ever doubted your mothering ability, you just laid it to.

rest. Let's plan on our down days."

"You got it, Dr. Jackson." She patted him on the arm as she left his office. "I'll send you a memo."

He made a face at her and settled back over his hand written transcripts. She laughed and walked out of the office.

=======

SG1 walked out of the Stargate on to a beautiful lush planet. The flora here alone was breathtaking, and it seemed to be spring all year long. The unusual thing was that there seemed to be no sapient inhabitants, either indigenous or transplanted.

"Well Campers, no welcome committee again." O'Neill commented as he adjusted the ever-present sunglasses as a shield to the almost overwhelming effects of the riotous floral colorations.

"Indeed, it would appear that whoever the Goa'uld brought here did not flourish."

"How do we know they even tried to colonize this world?" Sam asked absently as she was adjusting the MALP's instrumentation and monitors.

"Well, l would be surprised." Commented Daniel. "Surely the Goa'uld and their Jaffa didn't build three different types of ancient temples here for no reason."

"Practice?" O'Neill asked in a bantering tone.

Daniel just looked at him in wonder, then shook his head.

"It is not their usual way, O'Neill." Teal'c peered at his leader. "Oh, that was a joke." He continued on deadpan.

O'Neill cocked his head back and smiled. He then adjusted his P90 and stepped off in the direction of the three structures, his three teamies following his lead. Daniel up close behind him, with his map from last time here, Carter driving the MALP with it's hand controls, and Teal'c with his staff weapon at their six.

=======

After several miles and hours SG1 finally had to give up the idea of taking the little vehicle all the way with them. The terrain was even rougher than last time due to the flourishing greenery that had overgrown their trail. But when they reached the steep precipice with its rocky ledges and overhangs, there was no way to get it down. Jack called a halt for a lunch break and planning session. They pulled out the cold-camp food rations and debated their method of transporting their equipment. Both Daniel and Carter looking longingly at their little mechanized pack beast.

" Well, we knew we'd have to pack it in ourselves sooner or later." Daniel commented dourly as they redistributed their backpacks to include Carter's instrumentation and his laptop and video cam. "I was just hoping it was later."

"Leave the ropes out." O'Neill directed as he loaded the ammo for his weapon on top of the personal items. "We'll each carry one for climbing. I don't want the same thing to happen as did last time so we'll do a climber's thing with them."

Teal'c looked at him. "What is this Climber's thing, O'Neill?"

Sam looked up from her packing. "It's where we tie ourselves to each other, in case one of us slips, the others can help support whoever it is until they get their grip."

"That is a wise practice for us. Though I would not recommend it if the largest person were a weak climber."

"Well," Jack drawled. "Luckily we don't have that problem." He glanced over at Daniel who returned his gaze strongly.

"Yes Jack." Daniel commented back at him. "Since you were the one hanging onto that sapling over a twenty foot drop and I broke my glasses when I pulled you up."

O'Neill grinned back at his indignant expression. "I told you a rock rolled under my foot, and I said thank you."

"Jaack." Daniel had to protest laughingly.

"Daaniel." He reached over and gently slapped the younger man on the arm. "Daniel, you are too easy." Daniel just shook his head.

=======

Several hours later, the team finally reached their destination. The three mammoth structures were still there, patiently waiting to be explored and charted. The two scientists started to set up camp while the two warriors proceeded to delineate and secure their perimeter lines, cutting down underbrush and inspecting suspicious nooks and crannies that could hold some unperceived dangers. They had opted for having an early camp that night for a fresh start in the morning. O'Neill knew that when Carter and Jackson started their duties, that they would be difficult to rein in. This way they would all be rested and well fed for the tasks before them.

After a good meal the four settled back to catch up on what the others had been doing recently. One of the advantages of the extended missions was it allowed them to cultivate their friendship to a deeper level. A team of this small size that literally depended on each other for their very lives. That and none of them having a family waiting for them at home made them that much closer.

Early the next morning they split off into two pairs, one scientist and one soldier each. Carter and O'Neill started the sample gathering, Teal'c and Daniel proceeded to the first of the monuments.

As the two Air Force officers headed towards the only sizable body of water, Jack concentrated on the local fauna while Sam picked, prodded and dug up sample of flowers, leaves, fruits and berries. After several hours of general discussion about seasons and weather, O'Neill couldn't stand it anymore and brought up the heretofore undiscussed topic of his visit from ole' Doc Fraiser. Carter proceeded to dissolve into giggles as he described the conversation.

"I wondered why you finally got rid of your 'Captain Kirk' chair." She commented. "I thought you liked that thing?" Thinking of the angular piece of 'modern' furniture that had been in O'Neill's office since she'd known him.

"Well, it looked cool, when I moved into that office...but well, it was hard and nobody seemed to like to sit in it except Teal'c." O'Neill replied in all seriousness. "Then it occurred to me that he never sat down so I was wrong there too. Daniel used to do this contortionist act whenever he was in it." He explained while scanning the tree tops for any life forms. "For the longest time, I thought he had claustrophobia and didn't like my small office. Then one afternoon, when he was still living with me, he was waiting for me to get out of a meeting and he actually fell asleep in it. But when I opened the door he fell on the floor right out of the damned thing. I think he was upside down or sideways and he just slipped out. Damnedest thing I ever saw." He shook his head. "I think that's when the monkey thing started."

"You probably need to tell him that." She laughed at the mind pictures. "He still doesn't get the Space monkey nickname."

"Nah, it's good to keep you geniuses off balance." He smiled over at her. "It gives us regular people a fighting chance."

"So Janet got on you about your suggestion?"

"Yea read me the riot act, and told me I was way out of line. Sad thing is she's right." He looked at her seriously.

"But you did bring up some valid points. I've never had time to think about a normal family. My Dad always pushed me to the fast track. The only guys I ever really dated were other military and there were always the assignments to worry about, our careers, and the fraternization rules." She shook her head. "It never seemed worth the trouble. But I'm not so sure that anything would have come about with Martouff. Latesh was in love with Jolinar, Martouff with the host. I was just...the closest thing he could find to them." She shook her head. "And the Jolinar memories keep feeding the feelings."

"You really liked Narim though."

"Yes, I did." She admitted. "I really did. I still wonder if he's alive and or if he's a host. That would be my worst fear, to find him again like that."

He nodded sympathically. "Yea, after watching Daniel searching for Sha'uri, then to lose her like he did." Jack shook his head sadly. "I really don't know how he's handled it as well as he has."

"I think Teal'c still has problems with it." Sam spoke quietly. "The two of them work so closely together now. I know he had problems with it in the beginning."

"I know. I knew we needed Teal'c on the team because of all the Intel he could give us about the Gould, and I really thought Daniel would back off and not want to go off world with us. But the kid's got more heart than I knew and stood up to everyone, including Hammond. Then that night at the house we had a long talk about why I wanted Teal'c. But he stuck to his guns and continued to go out with us." Jack shook his head. "He was a lot bigger man that I could have been."

"He loved Sha'uri." Carter said simply. "She was his everything." They worked together in silence for a long while. "Was she really a gift?"

"Yea, Katherine had given Daniel a medallion to wear, for luck. She'd found it when she was with her dad when he found the Stargate. Well, Daniel was wearing it when we met Kasuf. He thought that Daniel was the emissary of RA. So, as a token he gave him his daughter." Jack smiled, remembering the young man's expression."

"But that's barbaric." She protested.

Jack nodded. "Carter, I like Kasuf but you gotta remember...they are barbaric. They live in a world we only see in National Geographic or old Tony Curtis movies. Later, though, Daniel told me that he 'refused' her that first night when he got the whole picture. Said she nearly died of shame from his trying to send her away. So she stayed with him and they acted like everything was cool." He shrugged. "Later...when everything was over and we were leaving, I promised him that I'd lie in my report. So nobody else would try to 'close the gate' with another tactical nuke." He laughed, dismissively. "Yea, like that worked." He snorted. "One year later, Hammond tried the same damn thing. That's how he got me back." He watched her face as everything came together for her in her mind.

"General Hammond was going to send a bomb through? To Abydos?" Sam shook her head in amazement.

"Yea, a Mark 5 Tactical Nuke. As far as he was concerned, I'd left the back door open and the bad guys came in and started shooting up the place. His place. And he started pulling strings and getting his shit together. Sent Samuels after me, dug up Kowalski and Ferretti, had you transferred in. You know the rest."

"And it's been one wild ride."

"That Major, is an understatement."