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Title: Hole-y Night Author: Flatkatsi Email: flatkatsi@optusnet.com.au Category: Humour Pairing: None Rating: G Season/sequel: Any Summary: Jack has a small problem Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.
The stars are brightly shinningÉ.. Not! They would be if I wasn't in this hole. Can't see stars. Can't see up. Can't see Christmas tree. Can't see eggnog. Certainly can't see presents! But.... I can sing. This is the night of the dear saviour's birth. Ouch! Stupid rocks! OK, come on! Hit me again why don't you? Yeah, that's about right. Fall further into the hole. Definitely can't see presents now. Not that I was going to get any. Certainly won't give any to Carter. I'll keep that very large box of chocolates and all that bath stuff. I'll use it myself. About time that I got comments about smelling good instead of just smelling. In sin and error pining... What the hell does that mean. OK. Sin... shouldn't have had that last drink at the village. Alright already... I get the error bit ...and gone for a walk by myself in the middle of the night. Great, I'm punished. Now just let me out of this hole. I can't even remember the stupid words of the stupid song. Not happy. Not happy. Now I'm going to keep the remote controlled car that I got for Teal'c. I can use it. I like it. That's why I bought it. I wanted it. It is mine really. I don't have to give it to anyone. I want it. So There! He can go jump. Should have come with me when I asked him. Then I wouldn't be in this hole..... Or we would both be in this hole. Don't care. Keep the car. Away in the manger.... Yeap! That's Jonas. In the manger. Sound asleep. In the manger. Asleep. A manger is a barn with animals, isn't it? Note to me...look up manger if I ever get out of this hole. Anyway... Jonas asleep. Not rescuing Jack. Doesn't wonder where Jack is. Why Jack isn't back from stupid walk. Keep Jonas present. But I don't want a big glossy book on Earth's weather patterns! Don't care. Keep it anyway. Like weather. Like pictures of sky. Like stars. Like Christmas tree. Like egg nog. Like carols. The stars saw his worth.... Was that it? What stars? No stars. Want stars. See rock. Want stars. Want stars now! That is an order. Then they could see my worth and I could get out of here and play with my presents. Silent night, holey night..... Oh goody. I can pun good and sing gooder. All is calm... not me that's for sure. I'm not calm. I want my tree and my eggnog and my presents. My head hurts. I feel sick.. All is bright.... Wait a minute! It is bright. And Jack said, Let there be light! Get that light out of my eyes! Oh, hi Teal'c. "ColonelO'Neill. Why are you sitting in that hole?". "Because I can't get out, Teal'c". "Why can't you get out ColonelO'Neill? It is only a small hole." "OK, I see that now. It was dark before. I couldn't see and my head hurts" "I have been sent by MajorCarter and JonasQuinn to ask you to please stop singing. Although MajorCarter does appear to find something humorous about the situation, it is very difficult to sleep. We are also worried that you may be disturbing the locals. They honoured us with food and drink and it would be unfortunate if we upset them by inflicting Earth religious customs upon them. I understand that the Christmas festival is important to you, however I do feel that it would be better if you reframed from intoning rites to your gods until we returned to Earth. "Give me a hand out of here please, Teal'c." "I would be pleased to do so, ColonelO'Neill. Would you like help back to the camp? You appear to be having some trouble walking in a straight line." Note to self. Definitely no present giving this year. None. And no eggnog.
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