Author: Flatkatsi

Email: flatkatsi@aol.com

Category: Humour

Pairing: None

Rating: G

Season/sequel: Any

Summary: They are off to see the wizard.

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.

Note: In answer to a challenge from Hejira to get Jack to order someone to watch the Wizard of Oz. Thanks for the help again, Jackie.

"I'm melting! I'm melting!"

"O'Neill, you do not appear to be melting, merely sweating profusely. However, if you feel that you need to, I will accompany you to the infirmary."

Colonel Jack O'Neill gave Teal'c an exasperated glare.

"It's OK Big Guy. It is just very hot and I don't feel in the mood for banter."

"So you are NOT melting. Why did you say that you were melting?"

"Actually the human body could not melt", interjected Jonas in a matter of fact voice, "Perhaps you are unwell, Colonel."

"Aw, for cryin' out loud! I'm fine, OK! It's almost time for our briefing with General Hammond. Can we just forget the melting and go now."

"Why are you murmuring about wizards, Colonel?"

"We are not off to see wizards O'Neil."

"Perhaps General Hammond has been taken over by supernatural beings and Colonel O'Neill is attempting to warn us by this out of tune humming."

"GuysÉ."

"The melting sensation might be a symptom of an alien presence infiltrating O'Neill's brain."

"GuysÉ!"

"Should we alert the base?"

"GUYS!!!!!"

"There was a similar situation that occurred recently to the teacher of a young boy in England named Potter. It caused much concern and was featured on all the entertainment news channels."

"So it has happened before, Teal'c. Should we restrain the Colonel and General Hammond and contact the President?"

"Who is Auntie M, O'Neill? Why are you calling to her?"

"Because she might listen to me, which is more than you two are. LOOK! I want you both to come with me to my quarters and watch the movie The Wizard of Oz .NOW!!! "

"I do not wish to watch a movie O'Neill."

"Consider it an order!"

"What are you doing, Colonel. Shouldn't you all be on your way to my office?"

"General! I am sorry, Sir. I'm sure that you will understand when I explain the circumstances. We almost had an alert called because Teal'c and Jonas hadn't seen The Wizard of Oz."

"But Colonel, I watched it with them when you were last in the infirmary and SG1 was stood down for a week. Teal'c was humming "We're off to see the wizard" for days. And Jonas was particularly taken with the idea of the witch melting. Why have you ordered them to watch it again? Well, at least they seem to be enjoying it. Teal'c is actually smiling!"