Title: Running With Scissors
Author: Flatkatsi
Email: flatkatsi@optusnet.com.au
Status: Complete
Category: Angst
Pairings: None
Spoilers: Changeling and most of Season 7
Season: Seven
Rating: G
Content Warnings: None
File Size: 28 kb
Archive: Incoming Wormhole
Summary: The time had come for a decision.
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
Author’s Note: This is my answer to why Jack isn’t around as much in Season 7. Just me playing with Jack again – not necessarily how I really see it. Thanks to Ruth for the beta and advice.
Jack sat in the darkness and thought about the last few months, since that first moment when he had realised that Daniel was truly back, since everything had been turned upside down yet again.
How everything had somehow gone so wrong.
It had seemed so simple. Get back to the way things had been before, back to the old team dynamic – him leading, Carter solving the problems, Daniel doing the communication thing and Teal’c there ready to back him up.
It hadn’t worked out that way.
Something had changed.
He had tried to just walk away, ignoring the whole thing. He found himself withdrawing, taking a step back and reassessing.
Carter was the easiest to read – it was as if she had found her wings, and was ready to take independent flight. Right from that whole embarrassing episode with mini Jack. He had heard how she had tried to give the briefing – the briefing that he had been preparing for weeks. She hadn’t argued with the General, hadn’t once suggested that Colonel O’Neill was the best to give it, regardless of how he looked. She had jumped at the chance.
Then, when the opportunity had come to compete in that race she had grabbed it with both hands. She hadn’t even asked his permission. It didn’t matter that it had been a dangerous situation, full of unknowns – she had wanted it.
Then that Avenger virus – he shook his head – yes, Carter was taking too many risks and completely disregarding his experience. Even her little jokes had started to grate, her whole attitude lately had come close to insubordination and disrespect.
Daniel – there was no way else to say it – he had changed. He had become harder, tougher. There was nothing wrong with that per se, but it had lead him into some dangerous situations – take that whole Unas thing.
He had always argued with Jack, had always complained, now he didn’t, he just stated his case firmly and expected everyone to go along without argument.
Jack had smiled and shrugged it off, but he couldn’t pretend that Daniel’s inability to remember his name hadn’t hurt, even if it may have been a joke. Jack had never realised before just how little he and Daniel had in common. He felt as if Daniel was constantly looking at him sideways, searching to remember why he could possibly have become best friends with this man. It made Jack extremely uncomfortable and he found himself wanting to spend less and less time in Daniel’s company
Of them all Teal’c had changed the most. Certainly the loss of Junior had been a life changing experience for him. He was having to reassess how he lived, his unexpected physical vulnerability. Jack had noticed that he was much more ready to show his emotions and even let them lead him at times. The old Teal’c would never have just dismissed him as unimportant on the Amazon planet, would never have treated him the way that he had.
Teal’c was the one that had probably disappointed Jack the most. He had always been the stable rock that Jack could lean against. Now the rock had moved and left Jack off balance.
Jack O’Neill was angry. In fact, angry didn’t cover it – furious wasn’t even adequate.
One he could understand, but all of them?
It was as if he was invisible, as if he might as well not be there at all and when they did notice him, it seemed like they treated him like an embarrassing, slightly stupid relative that they were made to hang around with.
It was as if they weren’t a team any more. As if they couldn’t care less.
So he had done what he normally did when faced with this sort of situation – walked away.
Whenever the team was together now, he felt wrong, uncomfortable.
So he had walked.
Other convenient things had come up - meetings to attend, reports to write. Sometimes he had gone off with one or the other of them, but never all of them together if he could help it. He had taken to hiding behind his dark glasses, masking the hurt.
The General had noticed, had called him in and had asked for an explanation. Jack had managed to fob him off with some sort of reasonable sounding argument about making best use of each of his team’s individual talents. He wasn’t sure if Hammond had bought it, but it seemed as if he had. Nothing more was said.
He knew that he had changed as well, in response to the others’ attitudes. He had become colder, fallen back on what he knew best. Jack knew that Daniel had been shocked when he had waited while Teal’c was beaten, he had expected him to rush in with guns blazing and take out those guards in a few simple shots, but it had been a sound tactical move, the sort of tactical decision that he had been trained to make.
The old Jack wouldn’t have turned away from Carter in the infirmary, using his injured shoulder to avoid conversation. He had reverted to the consummate soldier, the hard assed emotionless military man that Carter had obviously expected when she had first joined the SGC, with a few thinly veiled sarcastic comments throw in to hide the pain.
So now Jack was wondering what this was leading to.
He sat on his porch, staring out blindly into the night.
He didn’t need to search to recognise what he was feeling. He wasn’t just furious, he was hurt. And, god damn it, he was lonely. He had been there for them all these years, where were they now? He couldn’t remember the last time that they had met socially outside of the mountain. Was their friendship so easily forgotten?
He stood abruptly, pushing back his chair. Why the hell should it matter so much? It was just a job after all. He should have known better than to get too close to people that were essentially just work mates. All his military training had warned him about exactly this scenario – don’t get too close, don’t let your emotions affect you. This was why teams were split up and personnel reassigned. He had thought that SG-1 was immune to this, that they had something special.
Just went to show how wrong he could be.
He wasn’t the sort of man to show how deeply he had been hurt, they probably would never realise. He’d be back at the base tomorrow, smile in place, dropping in those stupid little remarks and watching for their reactions, their exchange of looks and patience smiles, humouring him, but never, never the genuine laughter of friends.
Once again he had put his trust in others, and had been left behind. Well he had had his fingers burnt once too often.
This time he was stepping away before he was pushed.
That promotion that he had been offered was looking more attractive by the minute. Time to move on.
He knew that in the morning he would probably feel differently, after he had calmed down, but at the moment he wanted to hurt them as much as they had hurt him.
It may seem petty, but petty felt totally right.
He felt his heart closing inside him, the coldness settling deeply in.
His anger was as hard and sharp as a pair of scissors, and he was determined to run with it.