Title: Happy Birthday Jack Author: Kazza Email: kazzak999@hotmail.com Story Status: Complete Sequel/Series Info: None Season: Any (before Daniel’s ascension) Spoilers: None Categories: General Pairing: None Rating: PG Content Warning: None Summary: Jack’s birthday Archive Permissions: Jackfic, Incoming Wormhole Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only File Size: 48KB Authors Notes: My birthday’s this week and I decided that it should be Jack’s birthday as well, and if you know me then you know Jack has to suffer a little.
Happy Birthday, Jack. by Kazza
His joints ached. His limbs felt heavy and useless. His neck and shoulders were stiff. And his head was pounding. Lying in bed he tried to muster the energy to drag himself upright and into the bathroom, before his bladder exploded. Crap. Taking a deep breath, he eventually rolled himself onto the floor and practically crawled to the bathroom, in a manner reminiscent of the way he’d tried to get to cover, with painful slowness, after being blasted by a staff weapon during SG-1’s less than spectacularly successful last mission. With the immediate emergency taken care off, he shuffled slowly back to the bedroom and gazed longingly at the bed, fighting the urge to bury himself back under the blankets. Instead, he retrieved sweatpants and a t-shirt, and pulled them on in a style that could only be described as snail-like. Now dressed, he steeled himself for the trek downstairs to real life. The stairs took longer than anticipated, hands gripping the stair rails tightly, as he slowly lowered himself down step by step. Reaching the ground floor, he continued his slow invalid shuffle into the kitchen in search of coffee, his theory being that the caffeine would kick start his body just like it seemed to do to Daniel. No coffee. The jar was empty. Damn. This was so turning into a day to forget. Spectacular. Today of all days. Another of life’s little jokes at the expense of a certain Jack O’Neill. Who quite definitely did not feel like laughing. No-sir-ree-yabetcha. He hadn’t got the energy, for a start. He pulled a carton of milk out of the fridge, sniffed it cautiously, and decided it was still drinkable. Glass of milk in hand, he moved slowly through to the lounge and sank down gratefully onto the couch. Snagging the remote for the TV, he clicked it on and settled down for some channel surfing, which was all he felt he was capable of doing. Fifteen minutes later, he was fast asleep. He didn’t hear the doorbell ring, or the subsequent knocking, two hours later. * “He’s got to be in there.” Sam peered through the small window to the side of the front door. “His truck is still here.” Cassie shrugged. “Maybe he’s still in bed.” Everyone exchanged glances and then shook their heads. Jack was definitely a morning person and for him to sleep much past dawn would be unusual. “Maybe he’s gone out for a run.” Daniel sounded hopeful until he saw the expression on Janet’s face. “Or maybe a walk.” Janet frowned. “If he’s out running, I will personally break his kneecaps.” She’d not spent all that time and effort rebuilding the Colonel’s troublesome creaking knee, after his encounter with a Jaffa patrol on his last mission, just to have him ruin it with behaviour he *knew* was on the expressly forbidden list. Actually, if he was out running breaking his kneecaps probably wouldn’t be needed. His knee would, in all likelihood, just give way. Severe trauma, of the battering kind, to his thick skull could still be inflicted, though. She pounded on the front door again. Teal’c watched them impassively, and then took it upon himself to stroll around the side of the house and up onto the decking. The curtains were drawn back and, by looking through the sliding doors, he could clearly see the Colonel lying on the couch. When he attempted to gain his friend’s attention, by knocking on the window, there was no response. He turned quickly and went back round to the front of the house. “I do have his key.” Daniel was holding a bunch of keys out. “I just can’t remember which one it is.” “Where did all these keys come from?” Sam snatched them from the beleaguered archaeologist, and began hunting through them. “Doctor Fraiser. I believe O’Neill is in trouble.” Teal’c’s voice stopped them in their tracks. When he had their attention, he continued. “The Colonel is indeed at home.” Janet nodded. “Okay, Teal’c. Can you get this door open?” Teal’c bowed his head slightly in affirmation and made his move. A shout from Daniel stopped him. “I remember!” Having grabbed the keys back from Sam, he held up a single key. “This is the right key.” He stepped up to the door, inserted the key, and successfully unlocked the door. With the door barely open, Janet pushed past him into the house. “Where is he, Teal’c?” “The lounge, DoctorFraiser.” Janet hurried down the small set of steps which led in the lounge, immediately spying Jack on the couch. “Colonel?” She sat down on the edge of the low coffee table and ran a critical eye over the apparently comatose man. “Colonel, it’s Doctor Fraiser.” She gently shook his shoulder and was rewarded with a moan. “Sir, can you open your eyes for me?” There was another moan, followed by a grumble and finally he let his eyes open, but it was obviously an effort. Janet flashed him a quick smile. “Hey, sir. You had me worried there for a minute.” He shifted slightly on the couch to look at her properly, and grimaced as his body ached in protest. “Doc, what are you doing here?” His voice sounded tired and weary. Janet put her hand on his forehead, feeling the heat and immediately guessed what was happening. ”We just dropped by to visit.” She removed her hand and looked at him closely. “We got worried when you didn’t answer the door, so Daniel used the spare key.” She sighed. “You’re running a temperature and I can guess you’re feeling a little sick to the stomach and achy.” He nodded, too tired for a conversation. Janet gave a sympathetic shrug. “I think it’s safe to say, you have the flu. It’s been making its rounds at the SGC.” “Great…..so lemme sleep.” His eyes slid shut and she shook his arm to make him wake up. “I think you’ll be more comfortable in bed, sir.” She glanced over at the doorway where the others were gathered. “Teal’c, Daniel. Can you help get the Colonel in bed?” * “Is he okay, mom?” Cassie was sitting at the kitchen table when Janet entered, in search of a jug of water. “He’ll be fine, Cassie. Just a case of flu. As long as he stays in bed, and drinks plenty of fluids, he’ll be up and about in just under a week.” Cassie stared morosely at the cake box sitting in the middle of the table. “And we’d spent so much time planning the surprise for him today.” Janet located a water jug and began to fill it up. “I know, sweetheart. Once he’s settled, we’ll regroup and rethink our plans.” She glanced around. “Where’re the others?” Cassie swept her hand around the kitchen. “Daniel wanted coffee and there wasn’t any. He and the others have gone on a Starbucks run.” Janet gave a quick nod and finished filling the jug. “I’m just going to take this back upstairs.” * The front door opening and voices, alerted Janet to the fact that the others were all back. Checking that Jack was okay for the moment, she left him to sleep and went downstairs to join them. “How’s the Colonel?” Sam stood in the hallway and shrugged her coat off. “Is it definitely flu?” Janet nodded in confirmation. “Most definitely. One minute he’s sweating and then the next he has the chills. He’ll feel lousy for a few days but, as long as he stays in bed and sleeps through it, he’ll do okay.” Daniel, his hands wrapped round a large cup of Starbucks’ coffee, shook his head in disbelief. “Only Jack would come down with flu on his birthday.” He threw a glance towards the kitchen and sniffed the air. “Soooooooo, he’s not going to be wanting any of his birthday cake is he?’ He hinted, innocently. ‘…..And we can’t let it go to waste, now can we?” Cassie punched him on the arm. “Daniel! It’s Jack’s birthday cake!” “Yeah, but it’s chocolate and it won’t keep until he’s better.” With a somewhat gleeful grin he vanished into the kitchen. Shaking their heads, the others followed him. “So, what are we going to do about Jack’s birthday?” Cassie sat down at the kitchen table and watched as Daniel helped himself to a large piece of the gooey chocolate cake. “We spent all that money on tickets to the final hockey match of the season. It was the ideal birthday present.” Janet took the seat next to her daughter. “Well, you all might as well go. I want to stay and make sure he’s doing okay. It’s not really worth wasting all the tickets.” “True, but none of us are actually hockey fans. We were going because it was the Colonel’s birthday.” Sam found she was, almost without conscious thought, helping herself to a slice of the cake. “I think we should just take the loss and think of something else for the Colonel. What else does he like doing?” “Fishing?” Daniel wiped some chocolate away from his mouth. “Maybe we could get him a new fishing hat?” Teal’c shook his head. “GeneralHammond has already acquired that item for ColonelO’Neill’s birthday.” He took a piece of chocolate cake, and bit into it with obvious appreciation. “Oh.” Daniel took another bite of his slice of chocolate cake. Sam sighed. “Let’s face it, guys. We had this conversation a month ago when the only thing we could come up with was the hockey tickets. If we couldn’t come up with anything else then, I don’t think we’re going to have much luck now.” They all sat in silence, looking morosely at each other. And eating Jack’s birthday cake between them. Then Janet grinned a stickily triumphant grin. “I’ve got an idea.”
* Jack, or The Thing That Lived Under The Blankets as he had been renamed, finally emerged from his bedroom six days after his birthday, making an appearance in the kitchen. Daniel took one look at him and immediately herded him back up the stairs, determinedly sticking him under the shower. Thirty minutes later, Jack made a reappearance in the kitchen, looking much more human. “So, Jack, how are you feeling?” Daniel busied himself opening a can of chicken soup before emptying it into a saucepan. “I’m fine, Daniel.” He scrubbed his hand through his damp hair. “What time is it?” “Just after 7 p.m.” Daniel stirred the soup. “Friday night.” Jack stared at him in disbelief. “Friday?” “Yeah, you’ve managed to sleep most of the week away.” He finished warming the soup through, emptied it into a bowl, and put it down in front of Jack. “Eat. Janet wants you to eat something before tomorrow.” Jack scowled. “Why?” “It’s a surprise.” * The next day Jack was up at his more usual crack of dawn, having decided he’d done enough sleeping during the past week. He still felt a little shaky as he clattered about the house catching up with everyday chores that needed doing. Not his favourite way to spend the day. But, hey, it was a one hundred percent improvement on the week before. And having had time to reflect, he was more than relieved that he’d had flu on his birthday because it avoided the usual embarrassment of a surprise party or some such thing that his team always seemed to feel obliged to organise. Just as he was putting on his jacket to go out, Daniel emerged from the spare bedroom. “Jack, where are you going?” Jack pointed to the window. “The sun is shining, the birds are a singing and, having spent the entire week inside, I’m going out to get some fresh air. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Unless, that is, you’ve decided to move back to your own place.” It wasn’t a very subtle hint. Daniel shook his head. “You can’t.” He stood in front of Jack, frantically thinking of an excuse. But without his normal morning caffeine fix, his brain wasn’t functioning quickly enough. “Why not?” Jack picked up his car keys. Daniel’s shoulders slumped. “Because…because…..because. Just *because*,” he finished, lamely. Jack pointedly looked at his watch. “Because of what, Daniel?” “Janet said she’d drop by to clear you for active duty!” Daniel looked triumphant. Jack shook his head. “No need, I called the infirmary first thing this morning. I’m going to be cleared on Monday morning. Call Janet and tell her she’ll be wasting a trip.” “I can’t. Cassie wanted to check up on you, too, so she said she’d be over.” Daniel played his winning hand. He knew that Jack wouldn’t be able to resist a visit from Cassie. Jack put his car keys back down on the small hall table. “Okay, I’ll wait for Janet and Cassie. Maybe I can persuade Cassie to keep me company.” * “Thank God you’re here.” Daniel met Janet and Cassie on the porch. “Do you know how difficult it is to keep a restless Jack O’Neill occupied?” Janet grinned. “Why do you think we’re running late?” Ignoring the evil look he shot her, Janet stepped past Daniel and made her way down into the lounge where she found Jack sprawled on the couch watching cartoons. “Morning, Colonel.” “Don’t you mean afternoon, Doc?” He pointed at the clock. “It’s just gone past noon.” “So it has.” She stood in front of him. “Are you ready to go, sir?” He eyed her suspiciously. “Go where?” Janet shrugged. “Cassie and I thought that, as you’ve been cooped up inside all week, we’d take you out for lunch.” “Where?” He wasn’t going to make it easy on them, but Cassie decided enough was enough. “Come on, Jack. We’ll go to one of your favourite places.” She grabbed hold of his arm and pulled. Muttering under his breath, he reluctantly got to his feet. * “What are we doing here?” Jack looked at Janet. “This is the hockey rink.” Janet unbuckled her seat belt and opened her car door. “Yes, sir. Very observant.” She got out of the car, as did Daniel and Cassie. Looking as confused as hell, Jack followed suit and allowed himself to be led inside the local community ice rink. “What’s going on?” As they entered the building, and headed towards the rink, the sound of voices, young and old, could be heard. “Relax, Jack.” Daniel manoeuvred himself behind his friend to stop him bolting. “We just thought that because we bought you tickets for the final of the ice hockey season for your birthday, and you were too sick to use them...” “You bought me final game tickets!” Jack stopped in his tracks. “You should have told me. Flu wouldn’t have stopped me going!” “But I would have, Colonel.” Janet smiled at him, sweetly. Daniel laughed. “Anyway, we decided to hold our own hockey competition.” He gave Jack a small shove as they got to the entrance of the ice rink. Jack stumbled out into the rink and stared around him in disbelief. Hanging up from the ceiling was a big banner saying ‘Happy Belated Birthday, Jack’. The entire area was festooned with balloons and ribbons, and tables had been set up and loaded down with beer, soft drinks, chips, and pizza boxes. But best of all was the sight that greeted him on the ice rink. Janet stood bedside him. “Sir, in honour of your birthday, welcome to the First Annual Jack O’Neill’s Birthday, Ice Hockey Competition.” Out on the ice were various members of the SGC, including Sam, Siler, Ferretti, the guy from the control room whose name Jack could never remember, and even Lieutenant Simmonds. Also on the ice, was the local junior ice hockey team he coached part time. Daniel, now clad in hockey gear, staggered towards him not very steady on his blades. “What do you think, Jack?” Jack shook his head in disbelief. “Daniel, my kids are going to thrash you.” * He couldn’t remember a time that he had laughed so much. As predicted his kids had run rings around the SGC team. They took no prisoners and emerged the victorious winners by 15 goals to a resounding zero. As the kids joined him at the food tables and helped him with the pizza, Janet found herself with a long line of adults in need of medical assistance. Cassie, helping herself to a slice of pizza, sat down next to Jack. “Have you had fun?” Jack put his arm around her shoulders. “Cassie, it’s been great. I have just spent the last couple of hours watching my friends make complete idiots of themselves in aid of my birthday. What more could I wish for?” Cassie hugged him back. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, Jack. Happy Birthday.”
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